Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Before you put all your eggs in Helen's basket...

I have a friend I've known for almost 2 decades. People change over the years, but there was always 1 constant with her: she despised hard boiled eggs.

Recently, I had breakfast with her and her boyfriend and there she was ordering hard boiled eggs.

Sensing the confusion on my face, she explained that her guy loved hard boiled eggs and she decided to like them too. It seemed to come as a surprise to him that she had a chequered past filled with fried eggs.

While she struggled to get her eggs down (I could see the pain on her face), my thoughts turned to another girl who keeps her egg secrets close to her chest...Helen Zille.

Helen gets around and has lots of egg breakfasts in lots of different beds. Sometimes she's eating them poached, other times she's ordering them over easy.

The only thing I know about the way she likes her eggs is that she HATES scrambled eggs. She tells us constantly just how silly, useless and tasteless scrambled eggs are.

It's no secret that I'm a big fan of the scrambled egg. I always have been and even though I often question why they can't be more like omelettes and less scrambled and why the eggs need to be eaten next to a fire pool, nobody else has offered me eggs that I love as much or more.

Helen, it’s too late for you to try and get me to change the way I eat my eggs, but I know there are many people out there looking for an alternative to scrambled eggs. They’d like to know more about what you plan to do with the eggs if they decide to put them in your basket.

I know you've had an upset this week and your eggs got stuffed, but that's no reason not to pick yourself up, pull yourself together and start experimenting with your own eggs and find out how you really like them done.

Once you figure it out, please let the country know. They're going to need to make a choice about how they will like their eggs done for the next 5 years. I’m sure you want them to pick your eggs because they’re good eggs and not just because they aren’t scrambled eggs.

Come on, Helen. Stop talking about everybody else's eggs and tell us about your eggs.